Non-Traditional Relationships

(open, polyamorous, queer, kink)

Relationships are not one-size-fits-all and the ones you design yourself can potentially be the most fulfilling. Although non-traditional relationships face many of the same issues as traditional ones, they have the potential to amplify or emphasize certain problems, such as insecurity or jealousy. There are also issues that are unique to these types of relationships, such as how to deal with telling (or not telling) family, coworkers, children, and other important people in your lives who may not understand or accept your relationship.

In seeking a therapist for such relationships, it is important to find a therapist who is not only non-judgmental and accepting but also informed on these topics so you don’t end up spending too much of the session educating your therapist. Although I will surely have questions and don’t assume I know everything about your or anyone else’s relationship, I do make it a point to educate myself on kink, polyamory, and non-monogamy. Similarly, exploring motivations for a non-traditional relationship may be important, but that is not always the focus or concern.

Below are some challenges you may be facing that I have dealt with before. It is by no means exhaustive, so if you have a question about my expertise or fit with your particular concern, please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask.

Issues in Non-Monogamous Relationships:

  • Communication
  • Jealousy/Insecurity
  • Transitioning into non-monogamy
  • Adjusting to a new partner
  • Expectations around disclosure
  • Time management among multiple partners
  • Types of non-monogamy (open, poly, hierarchical, anarchy, etc)
  • Starting a Family

Issues in Kink Relationships:

  • Communication and safety
  • One partner is kinky, the other is not
  • Getting started with kink
  • Negotiating boundaries